Many divorces
results in heartache, turmoil and financial ruin. Children become
the innocent victims. Third-party friends and family are forced to
choose sides.
I believe married couples should do everything in their power to maintain
their marriage. While opinions vary, in my 22 years of experience
there are many reasons for a divorce, such as infidelity, homosexuality,
spousal or child abuse, misuse of drugs and alcohol, domestic violence
and criminal behavior. Pornography also has become an evil addiction
that is undermining and destroying the family unit.
Statistics show that children raised in a single-parent home after
divorce “have a much higher risk for drug and alcohol abuse,
sexual promiscuity, poor school performance and other kinds of victimization.”
When couples are contemplating a divorce, first seek counseling. This
will only be helpful, however, if both parties agree: 1) that there
is a problem; 2) that they are contributing to the problem; and 3)
that they can bring a solution to the problem through their own changes.
Divorce is not a solution to helping people find their happiness.
In fact, couples that stay married earn more money, are happier, have
more fulfilling family and extended family relationships and do better
in society; and their children do better, as well. Divorce does not
resolve conflicts; it makes them worse.
Divorce becomes a vicious cycle, and families who divorce have a higher
percentage of children who become divorced.
Should you decide that divorce is inevitable, think long and hard
about your decision, because it will have consequences for years to
come. Ponder and deliberate on your decision and if you are a religious
person pray on your decision. Get good legal and spiritual advice.
Be honest with your spouse, attend counseling and do everything in
your power to work through the issues before you rush to the courts
to file for divorce. It has been said, “a good marriage does
not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man
and a woman committed to strive toward perfection.”
Discouraging divorces may seem strange coming from an attorney; however,
after representing hundreds if not thousands of people in divorces,
believe me, this is sound advice. You will be happier making your
marriage work!
